Potholes
by To Kingdom Come
Summary: This is where I'll put all my oneshots. I think. Mosty they're funny stories, but there might be some other types later on as well.


_I have a ton of oneshots building up on my computer, so I'm just going to post them all in a collection called Potholes. I don't know, it just seems better than posting them all seperately... Enjoy._

**Food Related Issues**

"Reno, what's wrong this time?" Tseng asked, dumping some paperwork on his desk.

Reno whimpered and lifted his head off the desk. "I'm so _hungry_!" he winged in a tiny voice.

"You should have eaten breakfast then." Tseng told him unsympathetically.

"I tried! I really did! Honest!"

"Oh really?" he sat down at his own desk, pulled a document towards him and started reading.

"Yes! I went to make some toast, and there was no bread, and all the plates and knives were dirty, plus there was no peanut butter!"

"Oh dear, that _is_ bad, isn't it?"

"You aren't even listening to me, are you?" Reno accused.

"No, I'm not. Anyway, you could have just had cereal."

"I tried, but there wasn't any cornflakes or honey puffs or _anything_ left, and all the bowls and spoons were dirty! I was going to make porridge, but all the pots were dirty, so I left them to soak. They had crusty bits on them."

"Hmm." Tseng signed at the bottom of the piece of paper and grabbed another one.

"And then I decided to have fruit for breakfast like Elena does, so I got some apples and stuff out and found a bread knife to cut them up with. I finally finished, and I turned around to put the knife in the sink, and you know what happened?"

"Giant mice?" Tseng suggested absently, starting on yet another sheet of paperwork.

"No!" Reno was sitting up by now, and waving his arms around in angry circles. "Elena comes in and says, 'Wow, thank you for making breakfast for me Reno! That was really sweet!' and if I'd told her it was for me, I'd have seriously lost brownie points, so I let her eat it, and that was the last of the fruit!"

Tseng bit back a snort of laughter. "You did _choose_ to live with her."

Reno was in full swing now, and nothing was going to stop him from getting to the end of his rant, not even sarcastic comments. "So I thought, at least I could make myself a drink or something to last me until lunchtime, but the water pipes were frozen after that frost we had last night, and there was no coffee left, or Milo, and Elena used the last of the milk last night for rice pudding!"

Tseng pushed the paper aside and started writing something on a notepad.

"So I decided to just buy something on my way to work, but I couldn't find my wallet. So I was going to get something from the dairy, because I have a card there."

"A card?"

"Like a tab at the bar, but with the dairy."

"I see."

"But I got there, and it was closed, because the frost had taken the water pipes out there as well, and they'd had a power failure for some reason. So I had to walk all the way back to the apartment to ask Elena if I could borrow some money off her, but she was already gone. She'd left a note saying she'd taken the car because she couldn't wait any longer for me to get back or she'd be late for work."

"Gosh." Tseng ripped the page off his notepad and pinned it to the notice board behind his desk so he'd remember to put it on the bigger one outside the office.

"So anyway, can I borrow some money to get something at the cafeteria?" Reno finished.

"I suppose–" Tseng stopped. He'd been running on automatic right through Reno's little speech, but he'd known the man for a very long time and by now he was good at not getting caught out. "Sorry Reno, I'm all out of cash."

Reno didn't believe him for one second, but he didn't say so. He just went back to complaining about how much his stomach hurt.

Tseng was just about to break and give him the money to shut him up when there was a knock on the door. "Enter," he called.

"Hi Sir, hi Reno." It was Elena. "Where's Rude? He didn't show up today."

"He's sick."

"Flu."

"Oh dear, is he ok?"

"No."

"Not at all."

"I mean, is he going to _be_ ok?" Elena corrected herself.

"Yeah, he'll be back in a few days."

"Oh good."

"Was there something you wanted?" Tseng asked.

"Not really, I'm just here to deliver Reno's lunch to him. I got it from thee cafeteria"

Reno looked up hopefully. "Really?" he asked.

"Yes. I know you didn't have any breakfast Reno, I'm not blind. I got you lunch as a thank you for letting me have the last of the food this morning. We'll do some shopping tonight on the way home."

"Wow! Thank you!" Reno said happily, staring at the bag Elena was carrying.

It contained three salad sandwiches, an apple, a chocolate éclair, a chicken sandwich, two blueberry muffinsand a bread roll with pink icing on it.

Reno actually drooled.

"Do you really think he can eat all that?" Tseng asked doubtfully, eyeing the mountain of food.

"I can. But it's not all for me anyway, right?"

"It's not?" Elena asked.

"It is?"

They stared at each other for a while, then burst out laughing. Tseng shook his head and went back to his paperwork. He wasn't sure he'd ever find out what those two had found so funny.

"But seriously, you don't expect me to eat all this do you?"

"Nah, I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I just got some stuff. I'll eat whatever you don't."

Tseng sighed. Now that Elena and Reno had decided it was lunchtime, he might as well eat too,so hepulled a salad roll out of his bag.

Reno handed one of the salad sandwiches over to Elena, and all three Turks ate in silence.

oOo

When they were finished, Elena packed up the rubbish and leftovers and went back to the office she usually shared with Rude.

"Are you still upset that she stole your breakfast?" Tseng asked Reno.

"Nope. She's totally, one hundred percent forgiven."

"Somehow I thought so."

oOo

_It's based on a real conversation I had. Yes, all that really did happen to me. Except I was talking to Dad, and it was Mum who stole my wonderful fruit breakfast. And no one bought me any lunch. In the end I had some soggy rice pudding. Mmm mmm, yum_my_ -Sarcasm-_

_Anyway, if you review, I'll love you forever : )_


End file.
